Re: Wetlook and body insecurity
Posted by wetimer on November 18, 2025 at 15:47:03
in Reply to: Wetlook and body insecurity posted by Phil on November 16, 2025 at 21:07:51:
Hi Phil.
So much of what you write resonates with me. You sound like you have had a more extreme time than I ever have, though. Where I grew up, the swimming pool/party culture was definitely NOT a thing. No-one apart from the ultra-rich would have had their own pool, and we didn't have the climate for outdoor swimming for most of the year, anyway.
I started to become a little body-conscious during puberty and as a young teenager. I was naturally thin and probably a bit weedy. I went to an old-skool school which prized sports and kids who were good at sport could get away with a lot of bad behaviour. Bullying was rife, which didn't help. I remember a lot of kids getting into body building and showing off. At the same time, my own family wasn't exactly supportive of the idea of me doing anything like that, so I tended to shy away and try to be as inconspicuous as possible during the compulsory swimming and other sports lessons.
When I was very small, we had swimming parties in local pools, but that tended to stop by the time I was a teenager, so my public swimming was really only when I was on holiday. My parents always took us on a foreign holiday, once a year. I was never so self-conscious that I felt I wanted to put a t-shirt on or dress while I was swimming, though. I did want to do those things, but that was for other reasons, mainly to do with the fact that it turned me on. This put me in a double bind. If, like everyone else, I would swim shirtless, I would feel that self-conscious about my appearance. If, on the other hand, I swam in a t-shirt, I would feel self-conscious because I was getting turned on in public! What didn't help for my wetlook interests is the fact that my parents were total sun-worshippers and didn't have any concept of skin damage at that time. They positively encouraged me to take my t-shirt off at all opportunities, and saw getting burned, almost as a badge of honour. Fortunately, I do tan very easily, so I didn't suffer too much.
My self-consciousness was never that much that it has stopped me from swimming shirtless completely, but things have transformed somewhat now I am an adult.
For a start, and possibly because of my experiences as a child, I exercise a lot and have put on a decent amount of muscle. I don't think anyone would describe me as "built" but I am reasonably toned and athletic looking, not overweight, and look pretty good for my age, I guess. In wider leisure pool society, there is more of an acceptance now that people wear shirts, even if indoors. I think this is possibly due to the idea of people thinking of swimshirts, designed for sun protection, as a standard part of swimwear, and partly because so many people are self-conscious of their bodies, because of being a bit overweight. There is also a small contingent of people who cover up for religious reasons. Either way, I think that this trend has, if anything, increased my self-consciousness about being shirtless, because it has taken away the idea that I have to be shirtless because everyone else is. The taboo about being semi-dressed has gone.
Another factor, is that my own son is one of those who is a little overweight and likes to wear a swimshirt to swim in. This has, in a way, made it more acceptable for me to do the same. Fortunately, he has never questioned me about this! Also, I have enough experience of myself now, that I can choose to control how turned on I get from wearing wet clothes. I can enjoy it without sporting a massive erection the whole time, if I wish to.
As an adult I have also become much more comfortable with thinking "so what" about what other people think about my swimwear. I have never gone to a public pool wearing trousers, (I have done that in a few private pools) but I have swum in the sea in leggings, which I think is standard enough that no-one even looks, now. Unfortunately, I'm still a bit too self-conscious to do that in front of my family, but I have also become very protective of my skin. I have been raised to value a tan but, like many people, I have come to realise the damage that the sun does, in terms of accelerating the aging process of the skin, is not a price worth paying for it. For that reason, I hardly ever take my shirt off outdoors, now. It is a perfect excuse for swimming in clothes in the summer!
The irony in all this is that the types of shirt I like to wear to swim in are either tight lycra compression style tops, or thin synthetic sports shirts, both of which cling very tightly, when wet. As a consequence they accentuate my shape and make me look even more muscley than I think I am. If anything, I think people are _more_ likely to look at me for that reason than if I was semi-naked. But maybe that's just in my imagination!
So, no real advice, but I hope that by sharing some of my own thoughts, it helps.
PS: Love to hear the story about your and Gabe sometime...
Wetimer