Constitutional declaration of soaking wet clothes
Posted by Will Williams on January 12, 2026 at 05:25:16
I have a constitution i recently wrote about soaking wet clothes and here's the text for it.
Preamble
Let it be known and declared to all the world that clothes are created for one purpose, and
one purpose only: to be gloriously drenched and soaking wet! Therefore, I, Will Williams,
Master of Soakology, do hereby write this Constitution for all to know the universal truth
of water and clothes together.
Section 1: The Union of Water and Cloth
Clothes are meant for water. Water is meant for clothes. They are each other’s better halves.
The Lord left water alone so we could discover its better half—clothes belonging to it.
Water is the true home and habitat of all clothing.
Section 2: The Soak of Life
When soaking wet, clothes come alive; the smooth, glossy, shiny, silky soak is living evidence
of this truth! Clothes drink in water when submerged and breathe it out when they rise. The
glossy soak is the visual proof that water is the cycle of life for clothes.
Section 3: The Need for Soak
Clothes are a variation of fish and humans in their need for water to survive. Just as
humans need water to hydrate and fish need water to breathe, so too do clothes need water
to come alive and thrive! Clothes live in water, love water, and long to be soaking wet!
Closing Declaration
Therefore, I, Will Williams, do declare:
ď‚· Swimming fully clothed must never be discouraged or forbidden, for in swimming fully
clothed; we fulfill the magical, true purpose of clothes in life.
ď‚· No clothing shall be banned from being utterly soaked!
ď‚· Just as gravity has laws it must follow, so too must clothes obey their law: to be
forever soaking wet!
 Swim fully clothed and be the dream of joy for all clothes—to be forever soaked!
LONG LIVE SOAKING WET CLOTHES, FOREVER!
Signed
Will Williams
Master Soakologist
October 1 2025
- Re: Constitutional declaration of soaking wet clothes wetshirt 12:03:42 1/12/2026
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